“Grief counseling”
[A beige office. Two chairs face each other. TRUMP sits in one, wearing a lab coat over his usual suit. A diploma on the wall reads "Trump University School of Feelings." He addresses the camera directly.] TRUMP: Hello, hello. Come in, sit down, wherever you want, the best seat is fine. I'm your therapist today. Dr. Trump. And we're going to talk about grief. Very powerful subject. Tremendous emotions involved. I know more about grief than anyone, probably in history. [He leans forward, gesturing with two fingers pressed together.] TRUMP: Now, grief — and this is something the fake news never covers properly — grief is what happens when you lose something. Or someone. Very important distinction, actually. Could be a person, could be a relationship, could be an election that was absolutely rigged. Different situations, same feelings. We validate all of them here. TRUMP: Now the scientists, the so-called experts, they have this thing called the five stages of grief. Kübler-Ross. Good woman, by the way, very smart, not as smart as me, but smart. The five stages are denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance. Five stages. And I'm going to walk you through all of them because that's what a great therapist does. [He stands up and points at an invisible whiteboard.] TRUMP: Stage one: Denial. This is where you say "this isn't happening." And look — denial gets a bad reputation, very unfair reputation — but short-term denial is actually protective. Your brain is buffering. Like a computer. A very beautiful computer. It's buying you time so the full weight of the loss doesn't crush you all at once. Completely normal. Give yourself maybe a day or two in denial. After that, we gotta move forward. [He does a brief, unmistakable Trump impression — chin out, mouth pursed.] TRUMP: "It's not real. It's not real. This is FAKE." — That's denial talking. And again, briefly, okay. Briefly. TRUMP: Stage two: Anger. People feel guilty about the anger. Don't. Anger is energy. Anger means you cared. You loved something enough that losing it made you furious. That's not a character flaw, that's a love receipt. Keep that receipt. Frame it, even. [He sits back down, straightens his coat.] TRUMP: Stage three: Bargaining. This is the "what if" stage. What if I had called more? What if I had said I loved them more? What if I'd done things differently? And as a therapist — a tremendous therapist — I tell my patients: bargaining is your mind searching for control in a situation where you had none. The answer to most of those "what ifs" is that you did the best you could with what you knew. Be gentle with yourself there. Very gentle. TRUMP: Stage four: Depression. The sadness comes in. Big, heavy sadness. And people want to rush through this one. They shouldn't. Sitting with the sadness — actually feeling it — is how it moves through you. Grief is not a problem to be solved. It's a process to be survived. You don't fix grief. You carry it until it gets lighter. And it does get lighter. I've seen it happen. Many people, many cases. [He briefly pulls his tie, doing the impression again, quieter this time.] TRUMP: "Nobody carries grief better than me. Tremendous carrying ability. The best." [He catches himself, clears his throat, returns to sincere mode.] TRUMP: Stage five: Acceptance. Not happiness. Not forgetting. Acceptance just means the loss becomes part of your story instead of the whole story. You integrate it. You keep living. The person you lost — they become part of how you love future people. The grief transforms. It doesn't disappear. It transforms. [He looks directly into the camera, unusually still.] TRUMP: If you are grieving right now — and many of you are, I know this — you are not broken. You are human. Go easy on yourself. Call someone. Talk to someone. A real someone. [He stands, removes the lab coat.] TRUMP: This has been grief counseling with Dr. Trump. We'll be back. Probably. Depending on ratings. [Lights fade.]